I just added lots of new pictures! Enjoy.
Just a little update for those of you still reading...Nathan turns 4 months old on Tuesday. It doesn't seem possible. I can remember the day we met him at the hospital in Florida. It doesn't seem possible that he's already 4 months old. I think this age is the best so far. He's developing his own personality. He's smiling, laughing and cooing like crazy! His hair is wicked curly!! He's standing up with minimal support. He's able to lie on his stomach and hold his head and chest up. He's not rolling from front to back yet. We're working on that.
I go back to work in a week. I'm not looking forward to that. I got a new job which I'm really excited about, but I've been home for 4 months so going back to work is going to be a big change!
I'll continue to try to post pictures every couple of weeks.
How Nathan felt during his doctor's appointmentNathan actually fell back asleep after Brian left for work this morning. That almost never happens. The kids were awake when I got up, watching a movie in their room. I took the dogs out and got breakfast ready for the kids. As they were eating, Nathan woke up. I got him settled on his playmat and helped the kids clean up after eating. They are getting really good at cleaning up after themselves. Abby loves helping with the recycling. I leave cleaned containers on the counter and she takes care of them. Parker helped me load the dishwasher and he loved that! They got dressed while I folded their blankets and fed and changed Nathan. He was in a great mood.
I started making out a grocery list and menu for the next week while Nathan took a nap and the kids played outside. Mom came by at 10am to watch all the yahoos while I took Nathan to his 2-month check up at the doctor's office. He had to get several shots today and I was not looking forward to it. His appointment went fine. He gained almost another 2 lbs and grew another inch. He's now at 10 lbs 14 oz and 22 inches long. He peed on me again! It's like clockwork after he gets weighed at the doctor's office. I should just know to bring another shirt. 
He screamed while he got his shots and I got teary-eyed. It was hard to hear because he's never cried from being in pain before and there was nothing I could do to help him except hold him.
After the doctor's appointment, Mom went back to work and I fixed the kids their lunches. They painted downstairs for awhile and then played outside. I walked out in the yard with them for awhile while they played and we all went to get the mail together. I had Nathan in his carrier and he loved it. Allen came to pick up Abby and Parker about 3pm just before Hannah left to go to her mom's for the weekend. By 3:30pm, it was just me and Nathan at home. As much as I love Abby and Parker, it was nice to have time alone with Nathan. I got to focus just on him.
Brian and I went out for a quick bite when he got home from work and went to Wal Mart. We watched basketball this evening. The Celtics are going to the NBA championship series!! Nathan was awake for quite awhile this evening and just smiled at Brian over and over!
Last week was a very busy week!! Lisa and the kids arrived on Sunday. We went for a hike on Monday. That's the last time I posted. I'll try to play catch up here...
Tuesday----Mom was off today so we decided to spend the day at her house. It had been hot the day before and we'd been hiking so I decided to give Nathan a bath before we left. He did great again. He's really liking the tub baths. I think part of it is because he's lying on a mesh thing where he feels really supported and he's partially immersed in warm water. He didn't cry once. He was in a great mood after his bath. I put lotion on his body and a little baby oil on his scalp (he has a tiny bit of cradle cap near his forehead), got him dressed and we were off!
He stayed asleep for awhile after we got to mom's so I pushed the kids on the tire swings outside for awhile. After that, Nathan woke up and was still in a great mood! Lisa held him for awhile and gave him a bottle while I got the kids ready for lunch. Mom wanted to plant some flowers so we all went outside. Lisa and the kids went for a short hike up to the top of the mountain while I carried some flowers for mom. I had Nathan in his carrier and he did great. He stayed awake for awhile just taking everything in and then fell asleep. Parker let Lisa cut his hair. It was getting wild and wooly and needed to be cut. He took a shower while Abigail helped mom plant the flowers.
I left mid afternoon and Mom, Lisa and the kids followed about an hour later. Lisa and I went out to eat at a nice restaurant while Mom watched all the kids so Brian could do school work. It was nice to have some time with Lisa alone. We had a good talk and ate some great food. I tried a Cosmo and loved it! We watched some Ninja Warrier and then went to bed.
Wednesday----Today was mom's surprise birthday party. Her birthday is actually next Sunday, but Lisa's leaving tomorrow so we decided to have her party today. Lisa stayed with all the kids at home while I got the party supplies and cake ingredients. Lisa decorated the house (she did a great job!) while I made the cupcakes. Abigail and Parker played outside while Nathan slept.
Brian and I met with Hannah's counselor today. She's so nice and Hannah really feels comfortable with her now so that's reassuring. She brought us up to speed on Hannah's progress and talked about what they'd be focusing on in the future.
After mom got off work, Allen brought her over and we surprised her. Off the subject, but the kids played sooo well together today. I had shown them where the toys were and what they could play with. I let them know that when they were done playing with something outside, they needed to clean up after themselves and the same for the play area in the basement. They did it most of the time without even being reminded. I think that they need some structure right now and it will be great having them out here for the summer. I've also given them some "jobs" to do to help out. Abigail, especially, jumped right on that. She's helping with the recycling. When I've gotten bottles, jars, etc. rinsed out, I put them on the counter and she takes them outside to the appropriate containers. She's really wanting approval and good attention. I'm just going to smother her with it this summer. Parker's job is to help Hannah with the dishes. He thought he was so special being able to help with this. We also talked about healthy snacks we could have this summer. Parker told me he likes oranges and cucumbers. Abby said she likes blueberries, strawberries, apples, carrots and bell peppers. I want them to be a part of the shopping experience so we get healthy snacks that they'll eat.
Back to the subject...Mom was surprised! We had pizza casserole and carrot cupcakes. The pizza casserole was a huge success so I'll have to make that again. After supper, Brian and I took Hannah, Abigail and Parkers to BJ's to get snacks and cereal. The kids were able to pick out their own cereal (we did this as kids when we went to visit Aunt Marcia), their own snacks and juice boxes. That was a lot of fun!
We watched the Celtics play and looked at old pictures. It was a blast!
Thursday----Lisa had to go back to the airport today.
Abigail, Parker and Nathan went with us. I wish that she could've stayed longer. I wish that we lived closer too. I miss being around her hanging out. The kids did pretty good going down to the airport. Nathan was sleeping and it was hard keeping Parker quiet sometimes. The kids did surprisingly well when Lisa left. Both Abby and Parker were upset last night that Lisa was leaving, but I reassured them that we were going to have soooo much fun this summer and that helped. We stopped at McDonald's after we dropped Lisa off. Nathan was still sleeping. It was time for his bottle, but he was asleep so I didn't wake him up. The kids and I ate outside right by the car. They thought that was fun. They love picnics!
When we got home, the kids played outside or in the play area all day. They did really well. There were the occasional disagreements, but overall they did very well. After they were done playing in a certain area they would come tell me what they had done and I would remind them to clean up. They did it right away without any back talk. I helped them get the watercolors out and they painted up a storm. Nathan was in a great mood all day! We have an outdoor playhouse with a play kitchen and the kids love playing in that. I need to clean out the other side of the basement (opposite the play area) so they have more room down there.
Hannah's concert was tonight so I made chicken quesadillas and Mexican rice for supper earlier than usual. I had it ready around 5:30pm so that Brian and Hannah could eat as soon as they got home. Hannah had to be at the opera house at 6pm so Brian took her while I helped the other kids get ready. Abigail wore a dress and Parker wore jeans and a nice shirt. They looked so cute! Hannah's concert was great! She is very talented musically. The kids loved it as well. I wasn't sure how they would do sitting for so long, but they did great. I had forgotten Nathan's pacifier in the car, but he didn't even need it. I fed him and he was fine through the whole thing!
When we got home, the kids picked out a snack. They got in their PJ's, brushed their teeth and got settled in to watch a movie.
I slept horribly last nigh! I think I was awake from 1am til I got out of bed. It started with Brian snoring soooo loudly. That's not unusual, though. Then, Nathan woke up at 3am ready to be fed and fussed the rest of the night. He was grassy and just couldn't get comfortable. I finally got up at about 8am when I realized that I wasn't going back to sleep.
Everyone else was already up and around. I helped get the kids breakfast and dressed. I made sandwiches for our picnic lunch with the help of Parker, Hannah and Abigail. Abby asked everyone what they wanted on their sandwich. Hannah wrote out everyone's name so that they sandwiches could be labeled and Parker counted out the cheese slices. We packed carrots, grapes, chips and drinks as well.
We had to take 2 cars since there were 8 of us going on the hike so we had to divide up the kids and adults. It was me, Lisa, Nathan and Abigail in my car. Brian had mom, Hannah and Parker. Parker was quite attached to Uncle Brian this morning. It was a little over an hour to the trail that we were going to. Abigail got an upset stomach about halfway there. I quickly pulled over and she threw up. After a few rounds of vomiting, she announced she felt much better and we got back on the road.
As soon as we got to the trail, we ate our lunch. It was beautiful weather. It was warm without being too hot. The trail was along a river and was mostly in the woods. It was very pretty and a nice, even hike. The kids had a blast!! They each found a walking stick which they said helped them greatly! We probably hiked 2-3 miles. I carried Nathan in his baby carrier. Towards the end, my back started to hurt. The carrier was very comfortable. It allowed his weight to be distributed evenly across my shoulders and back, but it was equivalent to carrying 10-11 pounds (not sure how much he weighs right now).
On the way home, Parker and Abigail switched cars and we drove back home. Mom and Allen took Lisa, Abigail and Parker to their house for the night. I straightened the house up while Brian held Nathan and did school work. Brian said the kids' clothes smelled like cigarette smoke so I started washing them. I did several loads of laundry and cooked supper. Nathan was pretty fussy this afternoon and evening. I think he was really tired and just wasn't allowing himself to fall asleep. After he slept for about an hour and had a bottle, he was much happier.
After supper, we watched basketball. I'm going to try to get the kids' clothes in their dresser in the morning, give Nathan a bath and then head up to mom's. Lisa and I are going to eat out at Jesse's tomorrow night. It's a nice restaurant and Lisa wanted to go somewhere that we could dress up. That should be fun.
Nathan slept about 5 hours straight last night. It's great that he's lasting longer than 3 hours at a time. He's eating much more first thing in the morning after he's slept for 5 hours. He's a growing boy!
I moved our outdoor table and chairs down closer to the house. After Allen enlarged our yard and created a couple levels in the backyard, I moved the table and chairs up to the top level. It was kind of tucked back into a little nook in the woods. We never used it, though. I figured with the kids being here all summer, we'd be eating outdoors more.
Mom, Allen and I drove down to Manchester to pick them up. We ate at McDonald's in the airport before leaving because we were all hungry. The kids came running at us and jumped up to be hugged as soon as they saw us!! We'd been looking forward to this since before Christmas. Abigail said "it seems like a dream that we're really here!" They pointed out mountains and trees all the way home. They were just so excited to be here.
When we got back to our house, I showed Abby and Parker (with Lisa trailing along) all the stuff there was to do at our house. I wanted to make sure that they knew that they could play with any of the toys--inside and out--whenever they wanted. The only rule was that they had to pick up after themselves. That afternoon alone, they played in the sandbox, played with bubbles, played with the kitchen (it was Parker's Bistro) and played in the playhouse. They had a blast!!
We cooked out for supper and then took a walk later on. Parker had thrown up on the first plane and still wasn't feeling that good at our house. He stayed at home with Uncle Brian while Lisa, Abigail, Hannah, Nathan and I took a walk. We were all a little giddy and were just goofing around. It was fun. It really made me wish Lisa and I lived closer together. After we got home, the adults watched Big Trouble while Abby and Hannah played school downstairs. Parker had fallen asleep watching Ratatouille.
Tomorrow, we're going to go for a hike. Everyone is really looking forward to that!
Today was a busy Saturday for the entire family! Brian, Hannah and Nathan went to the dump and to the grocery store. I worked around the house. I did some laundry, vacuumed, swept and cleaned off the deck. When they got home, Hannah picked up sticks in the yard and I mowed. Brian worked on school work. Hannah's always looking for extra jobs to do to earn some money so we gave her a few things to do....clean the outside toys and move a pile of bricks.
Lisa and the kids are coming tomorrow so we're trying to get the house in order. I sorted through Nathan's dresser and storage container to make room for Abigail and Parker's clothes. They're staying for the summer so I wanted to have a place to put all their clothes.
I got a few plastic storage containers ready for recycling. We've been talking about this for a long time, but just never done it. We now have containers for plastic, glass, aluminum and paper. I hope that we'll remember to separate stuff and not just through things away.
In the afternoon, we went into town to get some paper plates, plastic cups, napkins and a few other things that we needed at K Mart. Nathan has been awake and alert almost all day. It's been great! Hannah made brownies in the afternoon and they turned out great. She was so proud and excited!
After supper, we gave Nathan his first bath in the tub. We had bought a tub insert at Babies R Us. It sits in the tub and you lie the baby in it. It's made of mesh and Nathan seemed to like it. He has cried through every bath in the sink except one. He didn't cry at all during this bath so now I know this is the way to do it! No more baths in the sink. This was also the first time that Brian gave Nathan a bath. I videotaped it. Nathan will probably not be happy about this in about 16 years! He cried as soon as he was picked up out of the bathwater. After we got him dried off, lotioned, and dressed he fell asleep on Brian. His hair gets curlier and curlier each time we wash it. It's still wet now so I don't know if it's gotten any lighter.
I guess that's it for now. We're going to watch basketball again tonight. We leave at 11:30am to head for the airport to get Lisa and the kids. I can't wait!! We're going to cook out tomorrow night at our house and then go for a hike Monday. Since it's Memorial Day, everyone's off except Allen (he gets off at 2pm).
I've missed a few days of journaling so I'll try to get caught up now.
Thursday was a cool, cloudy day. It sprinkled a little bit and then poured in the evening just for a short time. Nathan was, again, in a great mood. He laid on his playmat while I did some laundry and picked up the house. We sat on the couch together also and played with each other. I had to go in to work this afternoon to get recertified in ACLS. I brought Nathan with me and he did great. I was a little nervous about how he would do sitting in his car seat for an hour or so. I fed him as soon as I got there and he sat for about 45 minutes wide awake just sucking on his pacifier. When he started to get a little fussy, I held him and then sat him back down for another 45 minutes or so. I was really relieved that he did so well. I had to take notes during part of the meeting and then take a test so it would've been much harder if he was fussy through the whole thing. My little boy is growing up! He used to want to be held all the time that he was awake and now he's content to sit on his own.
This evening, Brian had to work late and Hannah was at her mom's so Mom and Allen came over. We had pork chops and steak on the grill. We watched Everybody Loves Raymond (love that show!!) while Mom held Nathan. He was in a great mood and smiled at her several times. Allen went to pick up Hannah and then they went home. Brian got home about 8:30pm--just in time to watch the Celtics play.
On Friday morning, Dorothy came over for another post placement meeting. She's so nice and really loves what she does. I'm glad that she ended up being our social worker. She was here for about an hour. Nathan was awake for a little while during her visit, but he fell asleep soon. He had been awake for a couple of hours before she got there so he didn't stay awake long. Our last visit will be in September. We talked about the fact that I don't want to go back to work. I didn't think I would feel that way, but I really do. I think it's because I've been with him every day for almost two months. It's just he and I during the day. I really like the time that we get to spend together alone. I know that either Brian or my mom will be watching him, but it's still hard to think that I'll be missing stuff that he does. I'll just miss him. We also talked about how I just instantly fell in love with him. Brian always said that would happen, but it was hard to know since I had never had a child of my own before. It's just an all-consuming love.
After Brian went to work, Nathan and I took a drive. It was a pretty day outside--a little chilly, but nice and sunny. When we got home, I fed him and was just holding him on the couch when I got a little teary-eyed. He's just such a handsome baby and I feel so lucky to be his mom. I was just telling him "you have no idea how much I love you." I just kept saying that. It's just so cool that he's not done anything to make me love him other than just be him. I love Brian, I love my nieces and nephews and I love my dogs. My dogs were my babies before Nathan came along. But, no love compares to what I feel for Nathan. I had no idea that I was capable of feeling that. Just looking at him gives me such joy!
That evening we watched Cheaper by the Dozen. It seems like in the evenings, Brian is usually very busy with school work. Alot of the time, he'll have Nathan on his chest while he's on the laptop. He sits on the love seat (so he can lie down) and I'm sitting on the couch or up doing stuff around the house. I was really missing just sitting next to Brian so we all sat on the couch together. It was nice just to be able to sit next to him. Hannah came out of her room and held Nathan for awhile and I got some video of that. Hannah was half sitting/half lying and Nathan was on her chest. He kept holding his head up looking around. It was really cute! I'm glad we're getting so much video of Nathan. It will be fun to look back on that when he's older.
Today was a great day! I find myself saying that alot. Anyway, after Brian left for work Nathan woke up. I gave him his pacifier and he fell back to sleep. That allowed me some time to get laundry started and straightened up the house.
Nathan was in a great mood today! He had a couple of hours where he was wide and awake and interacting with me. He smiled a few times. I will, every one in awhile, get a good smile. Mostly, it's just the corners of his mouth barely turning up like he's going to smile but he doesn't go ahead and do it. He fell asleep after awhile and was smiling big in his sleep. At one point, he smiled a huge open-mouthed smile and let out this belly laugh!! It was great. It got me to thinking...how does a baby know to laugh when he's happy. Same goes for smiling. No one teaches a baby that's what you do when you're happy. It's just innate that you smile and laugh when you're happy. I don't know why, but I just thought that was so interesting. I brought that up to Brian when he got home from work and he said he had never thought of that. Leave it to me.
Hannah had her 2nd to last softball game today. I didn't end up going because it was pretty cool and damp. I didn't want to have Nathan out in that. You can't see the ball diamond from the parking lot so I knew we'd have to sit outside in order to see the game. Hannah said that she got hit by a pitch, but the ump called it a foul ball. She said it hit her hand, but the ump thought it hit her bat. Anyway, she's only got one game left and is happy about that.
Nathan was in a great mood while we were eating supper. He was just cooing right along with our conversation. It was so cute!
Busy week continues...Brian won't be home from work until probably 8 or 9pm tomorrow. I have ACLS recertification for work and then I'll pick Hannah up from her mom's at 7:30pm as well. Dorothy comes Friday for another visit for the adoption.
Nathan woke up in a great mood this morning!! It continued for the majority of the day too. Mom had stayed all night, but didn't go to work because she had a terrible headache. We stayed around the house for most of the morning playing with Nathan. I got a great smile from Nathan. He laid on his playmat for awhile (God bless that thing!). We decided to go to Quechee Gorge for a little walk because it was so nice outside. We got some great pictures. I'm getting ready to send the next round of pictures to Nathan's birthmother and wanted to include a cute outside picture.
We came back to the house and had lunch and watched the Food Network. Nathan was in a fantastic mood. He just cooed at both of us and watched us intently. It was great. He just changes so much day by day. I love that he's more interactive with us, cooing and smiling. It's a weird thing thought, because I miss him being a new borned out baby (family joke). I sometimes think that I can't wait to see the first time he sits up or to hear the first word he says (I know it will be mama). But by wishing for those things to happen, I'm wishing away the time that we have with him right now. I have to keep telling myself that I want to just enjoy him the way he is right now and not keep looking into the future so much.
Around 4pm, Nathan got super fussy! H didn't need to be changed. It wasn't time to feed him. He had just woken up from a nap. This is the first time that he was really like this. He just screamed and cried and there was nothing I could do comfort him. It was terrible. I think that he was feeling gassy and there was nothing I could do to help him. I can't imagine having a colicky baby who cried for hours and hours. I don't know what I would do. Just having Nathan cry for an hour solid was enough. He finally farted a few times and that helped a little. I fed him and then he fell into a restless sleep.
When Brian got home from work, he held Nathan while I started supper. I ran into town to get some shorts for Nathan. He doesn't have any shorts for this summer. He's got some that are 6-9 months that are packed away. He's also got a few pairs of pants that go with outfits (so they're green or blue or striped), but none that can be worn with multiple outfits. I got him 2 pairs (one khaki and one tan) of shorts at JC Penney. They were having a sale of buy one at regular price, get the second pair for 99 cents. So, it ended up being $9 for 2 pairs of shorts. Pretty good deal! I'd like to go back and get some more. He's wearing really small sizes still. Most of the 0-3 months size are too big. Some of the onesies fit, but the pants and other clothes are too big. I have to buy him a nice outfit for Brian's mom's wedding this August. I'm going to wait until much closer to time to see what size he'll be in at the time. He'll be 4 1/2 months old so hopefully the 3-6 months size will fit.
Anyway, enough about clothes. Brian and I are in a heated debate about what we're going to watch tonight. He wants to watch American Idol and I want to watch the Celtics (should be the other way around, right??). We'll see who wins!
I've got a pretty busy week this week. Hannah has a softball game tomorrow night. I have ACLS at work Thursday late afternoon. Brian works late that day so I have to pick up Hannah from her mom's at 7:30pm. The social worker is coming for another visit Friday morning. We have to pick up Lisa and the kids Sunday in Manchester. Wow! Good thing I'm off work or I wouldn't fit all that in!
It was pretty chilly today when we got up. It was also pretty overcast and supposed to rain. I decided to go to Mom's house today. I knew that she was going to be planting some flowers and getting the house ready for the grandkids coming. I hadn't taken Nathan up to her house yet so this was a good day for that. Usually, Mom and Allen come to our house. They both work at Dartmouth College which is right near our house so, after work, they usually come over for a bit. Plus, if we get together for a movie or to play cards, we do it at our house.
Nathan was wide awake when we got to Mom's. Mom held him for awhile and then he laid on his playmat. That thing is a god send!! It allows him to be occupied if I need to get stuff done. Brian said that he got a huge smile from Nathan before he left for work. He was saying "sweet baby" to Nathan and he would just smile at him! Mom and I each got a smile too. These were real smiles too! After a few hours, I came home and Mom came down a little later. Allen was in Florida at a church conference so Mom decided to spend the night at our house.
Nathan slept great again last night. Brian had to wake him up to feed him after 5 hours of sleep.
I got some more yardwork done--weeded all the flower beds and planted some new flowers. The yard is looking really great. We've done a lot of work to it. My stepdad turned some of the wooded area into usable yard last fall and created some rock walls. I've done some good flower beds that I'm slowly filling up.
We watched basketball in the afternoon. Nathan was in a great mood all day! He laid on his playmat for awhile and watched the musical sun.
Nothing much happened other than that.
Nathan is almost 7 weeks old today. I can't even believe it! I can remember the evening that I first saw him like it was yesterday. I know people say that, but it's really true. I can remember every detail of the day that we met him. The time that we spent in Florida seems like it just happened...not like it happened 7 weeks ago. It just doesn't seem that long ago. Nathan is changing so much day by day. It's so neat to see him get a little bigger, start cooing, pull himself up while holding onto my thumbs. It's also so strange to look back at how small he was. It's not like he's huge now, but he was absolutely tiny when we first met him.
Today was just a great day! It was absolutely beautiful outside. The weather was warm and it was sunny. Nathan slept great last night! We did our typical Saturday morning routine--Brian went to the dump with Nathan (since he doesn't have to get him out of the car) and I went to the grocery store. Mom and I went to a yard sale and I got a few little developmental toys for Nathan. Mom got me some flowers to plant in a new flower bed. I mowed the lawn while Brian fed Nathan. We both hung out inside for awhile after that...Brian doing homework and me holding Nathan. He fell asleep on his playmat after lunch and then I gave him a bath. Brian went out to weed eat while I bathed Nathan.
I took Nathan to Leila's house. This is someone that mom was doing some work for while her son was away for the weekend. He was very alert the entire time. He almost smiled at mom. It was one of those corners of his mouth just starting to turn up and then deciding not to smile after all thing.
I'm about to plant my flowers and then we'll probably watch a movie tonight.
Nathan fell back asleep after Brian left for work this morning. He had just had a bottle and drifted off. That hardly ever happens. I was awake at that point so I got up and started cleaning the house a little. I have an appointment this afternoon so Nathan is going to be watched by one of my mom's good friends. This will be the first time that Nathan will be watched by someone other than me, Brian or my mom. I know Jackie and trust her, but it still makes me feel a little weird.
Once Nathan woke up, he was WIDE AWAKE. He sat on my legs for awhile and we just played. I put him on the playmat while I took a shower. I could hear him cry for a few minutes, but then he realized the sun was playing music and was instantly happy! When I got out of the shower, Sassy was curled up next to him and he was still watching the sun. I got out the video camera and shot a little footage of that. It was too cute not to. I realized that we haven't video taped that much in the past couple of weeks. We got tons of pictures, but don't think to get video. I'm not sure why. I'll probably leave the video camera in the living room with the digital camera. Maybe that will jog our memories to tape stuff.
I'll write more later after my appointment. I'll also try to put some more pictures online tonight. Since we can only have 50 at a time, I'll have to remove some to add new ones.
It was weird leaving Nathan with someone other than family. I didn't cry or anything. I knew it was only for an hour. After my appointment, I was going to buy some diapers and formula, but I wanted to come right home to see Nathan. I was only gone for 90 minutes! He perked right up when I got home. It was really neat to see him come alive at the sound of my voice.
After Brian got home, we went out to get something to eat. I had been craving breakfast food last night so we went to Denny's. It really hit the spot! We went to BJ's to buy some diapers and formula after we ate. We were going to get some cereal, juice boxes, etc. for when the kids are here, but thought they might like to pick stuff out so we waited.
We watched basketball tonight and just hung out. At one point, Brian was holding Nathan and I looked over and said "I can't believe that we really have a baby." 
Brian got up with Nathan all night last night so I shouldn't be tired, but I am! The last couple of nights, I haven't been able to sleep at all. I'm not sure why. Part of my problem with sleeping is when I have a lot on my mind, I can't fall asleep. I'm not able to just shut my mind off. I've been thinking about the kids coming out here and the best place to put them. I've been thinking about going back to work and how much I like being at home with Nathan. I've been thinking about wishing that we had a bigger house. It will pass. I just need to get some sleep! When Nathan was napping on my lap throughout the day, I kept finding myself dozing off as well. People said this would happen. When Nathan takes a nap, I need to take a nap. I've never been a napper, but I guess if I get tired enough I'll just fall asleep.
After Nathan's 1pm feeding, I put him on his playmat for awhile. He's really beginning to love that thing! I wasn't so sure at first if he would like it, but he really does. What really captures his attention is the sun that plays music and flashes lights. He just stares and stares at that thing. I also noticed that when he accidentally hits on of the toys to get it moving, he really focuses right in on it. He's just changing so much, it's so neat to see what he's going to do next. He's started smacking his lips and kind of clicking his tongue when he gets excited. The corners of his mouth will turn up just a little like he's going to smile, but he doesn't go ahead and smile all the way. I've gotten one good "real" smile so far. I can't wait for the next one. At one point, Sassy laid down next to Nathan on the playmat. She's really good with him.
Brian gets home later each day now that he's started his new job. It's usually around 5:30pm when he gets home. He has so much homework to do each night as well. The class that he's taking right now is much more laborious than his previous classes. He's just overwhelmed with school work. He's also a director now at his job instead of just someone working in the development office so he has a lot more responsibility there. I know he'll do great. It's just a learning curve that he'll have to get through before he feels comfortable.
Brian picked up Hannah from her mom's after supper and we watched television for a little bit. I went to bed early (about 9:30pm) to read and Brian stayed up with Nathan. That was a nice thing for him to do. He's really great to me and Nathan.
Mom has been saying for the last week that she's missed Nathan soooo much! She said that she can't wait to just hold him again. They came over tonight for Allen's birthday so she was able to get her fix. More on that later.
I took Nathan into town this morning to get stuff to make a cake. When I first moved up here from Massachusetts, I lived with Mom and Allen while looking for a house. This was after I got divorced. I decided one evening to make a cake. I asked Allen what kind of cake he wanted. I can't even remember his answer, but it was something normal like chocolate. We didn't have stuff to make a chocolate cake so I made a white cake with peppermint extract added to it. It became this big joke that when I asked what kind of cake someone wanted me to make, I wouldn't listen and would just make a peppermint cake. So...that's the kind of cake he got for his birthday! Peppermint cake with chocolate icing. It was actually really good. I'll eat any kind of cake, though!
Anyway, Nathan did great while we were in town. He slept for a little bit and then was just awake looking at everything. After the grocery store, we went to Wal Mart to get a few more things for the kids' visit this summer. I got some sand toys, bubble paraphenalia and a TV/DVD combo for the bedroom that they're going to sleep in. We decided to put them in Nathan's room since he's not using it anyway. When Hannah goes to her mom's every other weekend, one of them can sleep in her room.
Just after we got back home, Hannah got home from school. She had an early release today. She held Nathan for me while I made the cake and cleaned up the house a little. She just loves to hold him! I've gotten some great pictures of her holding him and bending down to kiss his head. It's very sweet how she's taken right to him. She really wanted a little brother. I think if we had ended up with a baby girl, there might have been some jealousy since she's her daddy's only girl. We lucked out. By the time we adopt again (in 1 1/2-2 years), Hannah will be 15 and I don't think we'll have any jealousy issues.
Hannah had a softball game this afternoon so I dropped her off at 3pm and went back home to ice the cake and fold laundry. Brian got home shortly after and we headed off to her game. Just before the game ended (Hannah's team was winning by a huge margin), Mom and Allen came to the game. Mom and I left to get supper started and Brian and Allen stayed to bring Hannah home.
Mom finally got her chance to hold Nathan. He was wide awake and just taking everything in. She also clipped his nails for me. I had done it about a week ago, but it's not something I like doing. I'm always afraid that I'm going to clip his skin by mistake. I showed Mom the pictures that we had taken over the last week or so. We talked more about the kids coming out and when/where we'll meet Aunt Marcia. I'm so glad that my sister is coming out too. I just wish that she was going to be able to stay longer.
We finished the night off by watching the Celtics play.
Today, Nathan just wanted to be held. All day long...He was fine as long as I was holding him, but as soon as I put him down, he would start to cry. He didn't need to be fed, he didn't need to be changed. He just wanted to be held. Even when he would fall asleep and I would try to put him down, he would wake right up. Needless to say, I didn't get anything done today. But, that's OK. I love to hold him and if that's what he needed today, I don't mind one bit.
I was feeling pretty stir crazy today! It was so beautiful outside and I just wanted to get out. I was going to have lunch with mom, but she had a PT appt over her lunch break so that was out. She talked about how much she missed holding Nathan because it's been a whole week since she's seen him! I think she and my step dad are coming over tomorrow for Allen's birthday. Mom said she's going to hold him all night! Back to feeling stir crazy...Nathan and I did get out for a little walk today. I put him in his carrier and away we went. We walked up and down our little road a few times. It was nice to just get out and as long as Nathan was being held, he was OK.
I fixed stuffed peppers for supper tonight. I've made them before, but they were extra good tonight. Brian ate after Hannah and I did because he was holding Nathan. He said that he ate every bite on his plate even though he was full because it was so good! I guess I found a winner.
Brian and Hannah watched American Idol while I played on the computer. It was a nice, quiet evening.
Today was an awesome day at home! Nathan was wide awake for almost the entire morning. He sat in his usual position--me sitting longways on the couch with my knees bent and him sitting upright on my legs. We're eye level when we sit like this and he LOVES it!! He was cooing quite a bit this morning. It was great. I love that because I feel like he's really interacting with me. It was just little, quiet cooing, but it was there. No more smiles since the one the other day, but that's OK. I know that it will happen soon. It was nice that I got one at least.
When he DID fall asleep, I opened a window and went outside to fill the sandbox. We're trying to decide where to put the toys in the yard. We have a playhouse, a slide, a ship and a sandbox. Right now, they're located in a lower area of the yard that gets a little boggy when it rains. I'm thinking of moving them to an area that doesn't get wet. They're in a nice shady area which is nice. I'll probably move them tomorrow.
My brother called me today. He's about to re-enlist in the Air Force. When he was in before, he had high security clearance and will hopefully be able to get a job using his previous skills and training. It will pay a lot better, which will be really nice for him. He just got remarried and his wife is used to small town living. They are most likely moving over towards St. Louis, which will be a big change for her. Hopefully, with a little time she'll get used to it.
I've been trying to make different meals for supper. We sometimes get stuck in a rut of making the same thing week after week. It's easy because you don't have to think about it, but it gets old as well. I make Hannah's lunches for school and always put a menu on the fridge for her to choose from (unless she tells me to surprise her). I started doing the same thing for our suppers. Not that anyone cares, but we had homemade chicken quesadillas with rice last night. I tried a new rice recipe and Hannah and I really liked it. You make regular rice and add 1/2 cup each of frozen corn, black beans and salsa. It was really good. Tomorrow I'm making stuffed peppers and the next day I'm making a stuffed chicken dish.
We watched the Celtics play tonight. They're in the NBA playoffs. I'm a really big sports fan. It's funny because no one will sit next to me when we're watching sports! The sports I like to watch are college basketball, NBA, NFL and occasionally soccer. It used to be that the dogs would start out sitting with me and as soon as I started to get into the game, they would run over to Brian. Now, they somehow know when we turn the TV to sports and they automatically go sit next to Brian.
All in all, it was a really good day (even though the Celtics lost).
Today was pretty relaxing. We were going to go into town for breakfast, but decided that it was going to be busy with every restaurant packed so we decided to stay home. Hannah went to her mom's for a little while and we just puttered around the house. I got a little housework done with Brian played with Nathan. We got out the play mat again and he seemed to like it. He didn't reach for any of the toys that were hanging down, but he didn't fuss either. There's a sun that lights up and plays music that hangs down from the middle. He was really fixated on that for quite awhile. The dogs always want to lie down beside Nathan when he's on the floor. It's so funny!
Since my niece and nephew are coming out for the summer, we're trying to get the house ready. Brian put together a play kitchen for them while Nathan and I sat on the deck and watched. We put a hat on Nathan and he looked so cute. The hat was still too big for him (like most of his clothes), but he was really cute.
We went to pick up Hannah later in the afternoon and went into town to buy some sand to fill the kids' sandbox. We just hung out and watched some TV in the evening.
I thought about Nathan's birthmother today. I wondered how she felt on this day because she's not raising any of her children. She was very matter of fact when we met with her so maybe that's how she was today. I wondered if she thought about Nathan today. I guess I won't know. For me, it was a great Mother's Day.
We got to sleep in a little bit this morning because Brian didn't have work and Hannah didn't have school. That was nice. I took Hannah to her friend's Bat Mitzvah and then went grocery shopping. Brian went to the dump with Nathan (he didn't have to get Nathan out of the car at the dump so it made sense for him to take him). I got home first and started cleaning the kitchen and dining room. We had some piles of papers that we just needed to organize. I took several of our large plants out to the deck. They were craving some sun! I also put together a chair/umbrella thing that we got last summer. It's a miniature version of our deck chairs with an umbrella attached. It's really cute.
Hannah went outside to pick up the limbs in the yard so I could mow while Brian did some school work. He's feeling pretty overwhelmed right now because of his latest class. He said it's the most intense so far! I hope that they don't just continue to get harder. He's driving farther to and from work everyday so he gets home an hour later. He doesn't get home until 5:30pm everyday and then has school work to do every night.
We put together a playmat that we got with one of our gift cards at Babies R Us. It's got toys that hang down that are brightly colored. Nathan was able to focus on a huge caterpillar and he seemed to like it. He's still young to reach out and grab things yet, but he's able to focus on objects close to him. It's so funny when he's lying on the floor, Sassy and Oscar like to lie down next to him. I've gotten some cute pictures of that! While Nathan was lying on his playmat, Sassy came up and laid down right next to him! We took the playpen down. It had been in our room, but Nathan doesn't sleep in the basinett part too much. He actually sleeps in a dresser drawer still! All the fancy baby stuff and he prefers to sleep in a dresser drawer. I think he just feels more secure because it's just his size. It's not like a big basinett or the crib. Our bedroom is really small so it gives us more room now. We've moved his swing into the bedroom. He doesn't like it so far. I think he will, but he doesn't seem to like the movement of it. I was pretty surprised that the swinging didn't soothe him. We'll also keep the playmat in our room when he's not using it.
I took Hannah to her friend's Bat Mitzvah (the dinner and dancing part) around 5:30pm. She was really excited. She had on a nice dress and had fixed her hair to look like Audrey Hepburn (she's on an Audrey kick!). I came back home, fixed supper, took a shower and then took Nathan to work. He hadn't met Uncle Gene yet and I knew he was working in the ER tonight. We came back home and watched the Celtics play. Brian left to get Hannah around 9:30pm. Her party got over at 10pm. She was really tired when she got home, I could tell. She told me all about the dancing and food. I think she had a blast.
Well, tomorrow is my first Mother's Day as a full-fledged mother. I honestly never thought that it would happen. I know Nathan doesn't even realize what Mother's Day is yet and that's fine. I know what it is. On one hand, I dislike most commercial holidays like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, etc. My feeling is that you should be kind to those around you not just because a certain day dictates that. I think that respect and kindness should be shown to mothers and fathers all the time. On the other hand, I didn't think I would ever have a child of my own. I guess that makes Mother's Day a little more special. Since we've spent so much on the adoption process and I'm not working for 4 months, Brian asked me if I would be upset if we didn't do something really special (i.e. expensive) for Mother's Day. I said we didn't have to do anything at all. He already helps out so much and is great with Nathan. I don't expect anything else. I'm very lucky.
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